Ah, the Worldwide Developers Conference, Apple's annual soiree where developers gather to witness the latest features they’ll have to hastily incorporate into their apps before Cupertino decides to build those exact features directly into iOS. This year’s WWDC was no different, with Apple once again playing its favorite game: "Sherlock the Third-Party Apps".

The New Kids on the Block: iOS 26 and macOS Tahoe

iOS 26: Liquid Glass and a 3D Lockscreen

Apple is making waves with its new Liquid Glass design language, a name that sounds like it was ripped straight from a sci-fi novel. This sleek, unified design will now flow across all Apple devices, bringing us closer to the day when our devices might literally melt into pools of futuristic goo. One standout feature? The iPhone lockscreen's new 3D wallpaper capability. Now, not only can you admire your cat photo in 3D, but you can also marvel at it while missing your morning meeting because you’re too busy fiddling with depth effects.

macOS Tahoe: The Swan Song for Intel Macs

Goodbye, Intel! macOS Tahoe marks the last hurrah for Intel-powered Macs. By 2028, these machines will be as obsolete as your AOL email address. But fear not, Intel Mac users; you’ll still get security updates for a few more years, just like how your parents still get AOL CDs in the mail.

The AI That Wasn't: Siri's Missing Mojo

In a twist worthy of a soap opera, Apple’s much-hyped AI-powered Siri was conspicuously absent from the stage. It seems Apple’s been stuck in its own version of Groundhog Day, where every year they promise an AI revolution that never quite arrives. Maybe next year, Siri will finally evolve from a voice-activated trivia master to a full-fledged digital butler.

OpenAI's $10 Billion Milestone: ChatGPT Rakes It In

While Apple was busy playing catch-up, OpenAI was out here making it rain, claiming $10 billion in annual revenue. That’s a lot of zeros for a virtual assistant whose favorite phrase right now seems to be, “Hmm... something seems to have gone wrong.” But hey, even AI needs a coffee break now and then, right?

Tech Tidbits: Nuggets of Knowledge

  • Tesla's Robotaxi Rides: Austin, Texas, is about to get a taste of self-driving cars. Meanwhile, we're still wondering if human backup drivers will be more than just a comforting presence.

  • Starling Bank's AI: Now showing you how much money you’ve blown on McNuggets. Turns out, ignorance was bliss.

  • YouTube's New Misinformation Policy: More harmful content is allowed in the name of “public interest”. Because nothing says "trustworthy" like a 50% misinformation tolerance.

Key Takeaways

  • Apple’s Liquid Glass design is here to make your devices as mesmerizing as a lava lamp.
  • macOS Tahoe will be the last Intel-supported OS, with a farewell tour lasting until 2028.
  • Siri's AI upgrade is still missing in action, leaving us to wonder if it’ll ever arrive.
  • OpenAI’s ChatGPT is making serious bank, despite occasional hiccups.

An ADHD Joke for Good Measure

Why don't we ever see ADHD in tech conferences? Because it keeps getting distracted by all the shiny new gadgets!

A Metaphorical Musing

Consider Apple as a grand symphony orchestra, with Tim Cook as the maestro. Each year, they perform a new symphony of technological marvels, sometimes hitting the perfect note, other times leaving us with a peculiar sound that’s more experimental jazz than classical. As tech enthusiasts, we’re the audience, eagerly waiting for that crescendo that will redefine our digital lives.

Conclusion: The Ever-Changing Symphony of Innovation

WWDC 2025 serves as a reminder that the world of tech is a dynamic symphony, forever evolving and sometimes surprising us with unexpected notes. Whether it’s Apple’s design overhauls or OpenAI’s financial triumphs, the tech world continues to be a stage of innovation and intrigue. As we look to the future, one thing is clear: the next act will be as unpredictable as ever, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.