From Space Races to Satellite Dreams: A Week in Tech That’s Out of This World

The Sky Isn’t the Limit: Blue Origin’s Launch Woes

It seems like Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos' space baby, just can’t catch a break. The New Glenn launch was scrubbed again, and it feels like the rocket is more of a “new again” than “New Glenn” at this point. Scheduled to send NASA spacecraft on their merry way to Mars, the launch was called off due to bad weather. Mother Nature decided to play the ultimate gatekeeper, and now the earliest retry is set for November 12. Meanwhile, the FAA decided to throw in a plot twist by restricting commercial launches during government shutdown hours. Looks like space isn’t as open as Bezos might have hoped.

Key Takeaways

• Launch Scrubbed: New Glenn’s second flight postponed due to weather.
• FAA Restrictions: Launches now limited to late-night hours due to government shutdown.
• Next Attempt: November 12 is the new date to circle on your calendar.

The Etiquette Upgrade: Slow Ventures and Fancy Founders

Meanwhile, on the ground, Slow Ventures is trying to polish the rough edges of fledgling entrepreneurs. They held a finishing school to teach founders the art of the perfect handshake, public speaking, and not using Comic Sans in presentations. It's like Hogwarts, but instead of wands, you get Excel sheets and networking tips. Who knew the next unicorn might just be one firm handshake away?

Key Takeaways

• Etiquette School: Slow Ventures teaches founders the finer points of business decorum.
• Networking Tips: Learn the art of the perfect handshake and more.
• Modern-Day Hogwarts: But with spreadsheets instead of spells.

YouTube TV’s Disney Drama: The $20 Peace Offering

In the streaming wars, Google’s YouTube TV subscribers faced a blackout of Disney channels, including fan-favorites like ESPN and ABC. In response, Google is handing out $20 credits to pacify subscribers. It’s like offering a Band-Aid for a paper cut while your house is on fire, but hey, it's something. Negotiations are ongoing, and there’s hope that peace talks will soon restore the natural balance of weekend sports binging.

Key Takeaways

• Disney Blackout: YouTube TV subscribers go without Disney channels.
• $20 Credit: Google offers compensation for the inconvenience.
• Negotiations: Talks are ongoing, with hopes for a resolution soon.

Elon Musk and the Grok of Love

Elon Musk, fresh off a $1 trillion compensation package approval, took to his social media platform X, seemingly pondering the mysteries of love via Grok, his AI tool. It’s almost poetic, like a modern-day Shakespeare with a penchant for Mars colonization. Maybe next, Grok will tackle the enigma of Tesla’s autopilot or the existential dread of Twitter’s algorithm.

Key Takeaways

• New Compensation Package: Musk’s potential $1 trillion payday.
• Grok Use: Musk muses about love using his AI platform.
• Tech Shakespeare: Musk’s tweets are always a poetic mix of innovation and introspection.

Apple's Starry Ambitions: Satellite Features Galore

Apple is reportedly working on expanding its iPhone’s satellite capabilities, moving beyond emergency texts to potentially sending photos and boosting coverage through 5G NTN. Imagine the iPhone not just as a smartphone, but as a pocket-sized Hubble Telescope, connecting you to the cosmos even in the most remote areas. It's like holding a piece of the universe in your hand, minus the existential void.

Key Takeaways

• Satellite Texts and Photos: Apple plans to enhance satellite connectivity features.
• 5G NTN Support: Coverage boost through satellite integration.
• Cosmic Connectivity: Future iPhones could redefine remote communication.

Conclusion: A Universe of Possibilities

In a week where space remains just out of reach for Blue Origin, tech on Earth is reaching for the stars. Whether it’s teaching founders to be the next James Bond of business or Musk’s poetic AI musings, the tech world is as dynamic and unpredictable as ever. And as Apple reaches for the sky with its satellite aspirations, it’s clear that in tech, the sky isn’t the limit; it’s just the beginning.

As we navigate these innovations, let’s remember that, like a good ADHD joke, the universe is vast, complex, and sometimes distractingly hilarious. Just as our brains jump from one shiny idea to the next, so too does technology leap forward, ever relentless in its pursuit of the future. So, what’s next on the horizon? Only time—and maybe Grok—will tell.