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You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you

were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you

wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted"

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,

"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know

his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by

then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to

every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life

thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to

forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord,

if I pray for strength, I'll just beat him to death.

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... A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted"

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

...A young son asked,

"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know

his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." ...

Particularly good ...

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