martymas Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 (edited) any one tried this to relaxsorry bout the spelling i dont drink nor no the proper name of the drinkapperently it should be tequillalmtequellaDo you have feelings of inadequacy?Do you suffer from shyness?Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor orpharmacistabout Tequila.Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confidentabout yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of yourshyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to dojust about anything.You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with aregimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that preventyou from living the life you want to live.Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shynessanyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant ornursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mindnursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss ofmoney, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke andplay all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and NakedTwister.Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind.*.*To all Grandfathers: Heed this warning:Do NOT lose your Grandkids in the Mall!A small girl was lost at a large shopping mall.She approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"The cop asked, "What's he like?"The little girl replied, "Crown Royal whisky and women with big t---s"*.*Wireless Security SystemHow to install a wireless security system:Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men'sused work boots, a really big pair. Put themoutside your front door on top of a copy of Gunsand Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, areally big dish. Leave a note on your front doorthat says something like "Bubba, Big Mike and Ihave gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 anhr. Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just beenwormed and they are a little edgy."*.*A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to comeback to his hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks,"Am I the first man you ever made love to?" She looks at himthoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be," shesays. "Your face looks familiar."*.*Some phrases are only used when they are untrue. "I'm not racist, but ..." "I'm sure I ..." "I don't want to contradict you..." "With all due respect" "Far be it from me ... " "It goes without saying..." "... not to mention ..." "No offence" "Oh no, I couldn't possibly" "Oh go on then - just one." "I shan't make this a long speech." "Nothing, darling." "Serves 4" "I'm no prude, but ..." "Family planning" "Network upgrade" "Care in the community" "Back in 5 min" "I'll just put you on hold for a moment." "Congratulations! You have been specially chosen/selected ..." Edited June 2, 2006 by martymas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 "Congratulations! You have been specially chosen/selected ..." Wait a minute ... You mean I HAVEN'T won ten million dollars?!? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deaf_girl Posted June 3, 2006 Report Share Posted June 3, 2006 I've been told that if you walk into any bar in the world and say Tequila, at least one person will start to look nauseated and say "Oh, God" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tenmm Posted June 3, 2006 Report Share Posted June 3, 2006 The four stages of tequila.I had a T shirt like this.1) Two shots - I am rich.2) Three shots - I am good lookin.3)Four shots - I am bulletproof.4)Five shots - I am invisible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted June 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2006 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
xxkbxx Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 The four stages of tequila.I had a T shirt like this.1) Two shots - I am rich.2) Three shots - I am good lookin.3)Four shots - I am bulletproof.4)Five shots - I am invisible.Just an expansion from personal experiences1 - this tastes allright2 - keep them coming3 - karaoke? I can do that!4 - psh - I'm a good dancer too5 - this goes down like water!6 - where'd all the ugly girls go?7 - I think I'm going to make some phone calls8 - seriously where are the ugly girls?9 - shot of tequilla for everyone - on me!10 - seriously man - hit me in the face, I can't feel it!11 - I'm going to beat the h*ll out of you!12 - I swear I couldn't feel that dude hit me in the face!13 - i didn't know they had strobe lights in here14 - don't be a girl, drink some more!15 - Dude! Every girl in here is smokin hot!16+ - ??? (no recollection) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 Ah, yes, there is a reason why it's also called, "ta kill ya". Glad I don't like it Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JSKY Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 Mmmmm. And I have an old twister game stuffed in the back room........ Now that sounds like fun Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 LOL, good one marty!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carnevil Posted June 4, 2006 Report Share Posted June 4, 2006 The four stages of tequila.I had a T shirt like this.1) Two shots - I am rich.2) Three shots - I am good lookin.3)Four shots - I am bulletproof.4)Five shots - I am invisible.That's any liquor, by the way if you think you're rich after only 2 shots you can hold your liquor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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