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A Veternary Tale

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A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her

pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the

bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any

testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a

few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner

looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws

on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then

looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog

and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The

cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat

sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of

the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is

most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a

bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took

the bill.

"£150!", she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would

have been only £20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan....."

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