More Goofs Off The Intraweb


Recommended Posts

My sis sent me these (hope they haven't been posted before)

How do these people survive?

>

>

>ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you

could

>have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half

dozen

>nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the

counter. "You

>don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So

I

>can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's

right." So

>I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

>

>TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items

and the

>lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up

one of

>those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it

between

our

>things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of

my

>items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar

code

so she

>could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know

how

much

>this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy

that

>today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had

no

clue

>to what had just happened.

>

>THREE: A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy

drive

>and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was

doing,

she

>said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a

credit

card

>number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

>

>FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

"Do

>you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have

replace d

the

>battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do

you

>think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a

battery

to fit

>this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just

this

>remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I

took

the

>key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive

over

>there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

>

>FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One

day

>she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of

typing

>paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary

told

her.

>With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,

put it

on

>the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

>

>SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home

was

>towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of

repair

and

>the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked

the

>manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the

"cruise

control"

>and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

>

>SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central

office

>of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have

problems

with

>their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the

branch

>banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of

my

>terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

>

>EIGHT: Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a

metal

>colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy

machine.

The

>message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the

copy

button

>each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing

the

>"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

>

>NINE: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she

needs

>to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The

dispatcher

>tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother

says,

>I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to

emergency

>

>Life is tough.

>

>It's tougher if you're stupid!"

Link to post
Share on other sites
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she

needs

>to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The

dispatcher

>tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother

says,

>I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to

emergency

that funny

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can believe that they are true, see some stupid things in the construction field especially when a homeowner decides he can build something. Last week we had someone wanting to build a garage, he got the plans from his brother who had just built one in Florida. The problem is that West Virginia gets snow. The homeowner had a fit when we told him that he had to use 2 x 8 rafters instead of 2 x 4's

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...