# THE LAWS OF LIFE

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THE LAWS OF LIFE

Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease,

your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to

pee.

Law of the Workshop

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least

accessible corner.

Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a

busy signal.

Law of the Alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work

because you had a flat tire, the very next

morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one

you were in will start to move faster than the

one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath

When the body is fully immersed in water, the

telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know

increases dramatically when you are with

someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine

won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely

proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater

At any event, the people whose seats are

furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,

will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers

If there are only two people in a locker room,

Law of Rugs/Carpets

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich

landing face down on a floor covering are

directly correlated to the newness and cost of

the carpet/rug.

Law of Location

No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument

Anything is possible if you don't know what you

Brown's Law

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law As soon as you find a

product that you really like, they will stop

making it. (this one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law If you don't feel well,

make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the

time you get there you'll feel better. Don't

make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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The ones that touched me today:

Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease,

your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to

pee.

Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Theater

At any event, the people whose seats are

furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Wilson's Law

As soon as you find a

product that you really like, they will stop

making it.

A corollary to Wilson's Law: As soon as you become engrossed in a new televisions series and tell all your friends to watch it, it will be cancelled.

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