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bozodog

I Love This Doctor!

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>

>

>

> Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

>

> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste

> them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart

> will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of

> your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

>

> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and

> corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an

> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat

> chicken. Bee f is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

> And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of

> vegetable products

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

>

> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that

> means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the

> goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! & lt; /SPAN>

>

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

>

> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If

> you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

> program?

>

> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

>

> A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In

> fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for

> you?

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

> middle?

>

> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should

> only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

>

> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best

> feel-good food around!!

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

>

> A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

>

> _____

>

>

> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

>

> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

>

> _____

>

>

> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about

> food and diets.

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I always knew chocolate was good for you....my choco-consumption has kept my husband alive all these years....

Liz

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!

Does he take Medicaid?

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