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jimras

Living In Kentucky

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Things I've Learned Living in Kentucky:

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes ... and 4,998 live in Kentucky.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky, plus

a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

"Onced" and "twiced" are words.

It is not a "shopping cart;" it's a "buggy."

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word.

There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then

there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when

you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

"Backards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."

"DJeet?" is an actual phrase. It means, "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time

it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't "push" buttons, you "mash" them.

You know you're from Kentucky if ...

... you measure distance in minutes.

... you've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

... you use "fixinto" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixinto go to the store."

... all the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,

grain, insect or animal.

... you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both

unlocked.

... you know what a "DAWG" is.

... you carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.

... you only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

... the local papers cover national and international news on one page,

but they require six pages each for local gossip and sports.

... you think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

... you find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

... you know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and

Christmas.

... going to Wal-mart is a favorite pastime known as "goin' Wal-martin'"

or "off to Wally World."

... you describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as "good

pinto bean weather."

... a carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. It's a Coke,

regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"

... fried catfish is the other white meat.

... we don't need no stinkin driver's ed ... if our mama says we can

drive, we can drive.

... you understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from

Kentucky (and those who just wish they were).

Not EVERYONE can be a Kentuckian; it's an art form and a gift from God

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