lamuskrat

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Everything posted by lamuskrat

  1. Somebody on this board is being a bad boy (lol)....and it's not me this time. Really Chappy/Jeff for once I can honestly say...."I'm not guilty"
  2. Guess I'm spending too much time at the pc....alot sounds very familiar...
  3. dumb blonde click and download
  4. Oh how accurately that describes our nation here of late....Lol
  5. Well he was in his BIRTHDAY suit...lol
  6. Yep...remember the glass half full/empty dialogue of his. I loved him in DOGMA as the priest...what an oxymoron.
  7. In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send message
  8. LMAO at the educated public workers.
  9. I loved it. Hope you dont care but I am keeping that one.
  10. One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor. Doctor: What was your dream about? Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire! Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like? Blonde: I was running in a hall way. Doctor: Then what happened? Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge! Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it? Blonde: Yes it did. Doctor: And what did these letter spell? Blond
  11. One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bedm, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???" "Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
  12. Well you are aware that there is more to the internet than, malware, spyware, tojans, and viruses.this is the internetREVIVED. Thanks for the forum
  13. Just right click tg1911 and " save image as" Thank you...they're not mine but were worth posting
  14. Women's English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting
  15. The Geography of a Woman ------------------------ Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty. Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the w
  16. How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE -
  17. Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, stor
  18. A guy is at a nearby motel, he calls the local pd and says "you need to get a unit down here to ______________ motel". The officer on the phone asks "what is the problem?". The guy tells the officer that "there is a woman down here bleeding to death". The officer then inquired again "what happened?". The man again stated that there was a woman bleeding to death. The officer says "look you just don't bleed to death, something is the root cause." the man on the phone then tells the officer..."she has the CLAP". The officer replies ..."you don't bleed to death when you have the CLAP". The man on
  19. A couple just got married and went to the hotel to start their honeymoon. Wife went to restroom to change. While there the husband begins to think about his new found life. When she comes out of the restroom he takes his pants and throws them to her, He says "try these on". She steps into them and pulls them way up to her neck. Kindly she replies "I can't wear your pants". The husband then reponds, "thats right I wear the pants in the family". Startled by this sudden rush to authority, she took her pants from the restroom and threw them at him. She said "try these on". He got up and stepped i
  20. That hurts just thinking about it!
  21. I Loved it, will kill my kids if I ever got that note