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handplane

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Everything posted by handplane

  1. I do it with ie. Can it be done in firefox? If the answer is yes. My next question is how? TIA
  2. handplane

    Off Topic

    IVAN. The damn storm is back. Can you believe this s**t?????
  3. handplane

    About U?

    Good luck in your quest for work. BTW, I'm retired.
  4. handplane

    Handplane

    Thanks. Need someone to look out for me.
  5. I should be so lucky!!!!! One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady (Debbie Johnson) from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung." I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."
  6. Don't forget to use MATEY also. Aye Matey.
  7. handplane

    Hey Chappy!

    It's always good to see a former CFH member aboard.
  8. One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
  9. For all the boys and girls who grew up in the country. > Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. > They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated > it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the > winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was > sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined > that one day he would push that outhouse into the > creek. > One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so > the little boy decided today was the day to push the > outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and > started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into > the creek and floated away. > That night his dad told him they were going to the > woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, > the little boy asked why. > The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the > creek today. It was you, wasn't it,son?" > The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and > said, "Dad, I read in school today that George > Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get > into trouble because he told the truth." The dad > replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't > in that cherry tree.
  10. FYI, Sygate, for one, uses "Whois".
  11. Have you seen This. Found it with a google search. Hope it can help you!!
  12. handplane

    Flatiron__2

    Does anyone know how to get in touch with flatiron__2? He lives in Alabama and Ivan tore thru there with vengeance. Sent him a PM Thursday night and haven't heard back from him. Concerned for his welfare.
  13. This morning--from a cave somewhere in Pakistan--Taliban Minister of Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers. If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next. It's getting ugly.
  14. Thanks for the heads up.
  15. bar5, Do you mean like this? Read the PM , I sent to you.
  16. If you don't know what to do with the gmails, donate them to our Military Troops.
  17. bar5, Thanks for the heads up.
  18. Hey Handplane... I noticed after loading v1.3 that unless I closed ZA, and my active Virus protection, that it took for ever to scan. Not so in Safe Mode... Thanks maxdog4, I just have to run the scan in safe mode to speed it up.
  19. Edit your reply and close it out with for [/] for font, size and color Let's see if that works.