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martymas

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Everything posted by martymas

  1. martymas

    Dating Rules

    how many of us used these dating rules for our daughters Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like change the oil in my car? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight, speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
  2. martymas

    Manly Sport

    any one like soccer and do you think it is a manly sport ok watch this mabe it will change your mind soccer practice http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=36537
  3. martymas

    win 64bit

    hi team my next door bought a win7 64bit ultimate and he gave it to me to load on my 32bit win 7 asit was loading a message saying your cpu isnt compatable to 64 bit gee have i had this compt that long is it out of date or is 64 bit different if so do i need to buy a 64 bit sys of do i just change the cpu ive biun so long away from this forum ime lost hope you can help thanks martymas
  4. martymas

    uisb

    hi team i got my first look at a usb compt all components run via usb at first i was lost but trial and error has helped tp get it up and running my Q IS THERE A MEANS TO INSERT A CD ROM CONNJECTION BECAUSE THAT ISNT WORKING WITH THE USB the cdrom hdd every thing is usb can some one explain
  5. martymas

    ubuntu 12.4

    hi team i tried to burn a 12.4 ubuntu to a but iut loaded on to my sys as a double boot and is working good but i need a copy on a cd or dvdcan ti be loaded onto either a cd rom or dvd \and does it nee to be loaded through either drive which i have both thanks \martymas
  6. martymas

    ubuntu 12.4

    hitest i can install 12.4 on my compt but cant install to a cd or dvd whar am i doing wrong what size cd /dvd do i need some how ive managed to but the others to a cd but buggered if i can get this to work do i need a burning program gee ive bin away to long from this board
  7. martymas

    win 64bit

    thanks TT AT THE MOMENT MY SYS IS WORKING WELL I HAVE WIN 7 32BIT SOI DONT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BUT THANKS TO THIS BOARD I GET GOOD ADVICE AGAIN THANKS
  8. martymas

    back on line

    my god it is good to be back here ive had a cupla small problems ha at first i tried to sign into tweet and i couldent get in because i was not a member and my user nmae and p=w was wrong see how green i am ok what has bi9n hapeneing since uwas hwew last by the way we are strill getting the shakes ive become so used to them i turn over and go back to sleep nough of that hows every one has any one get married or got some one pregnent or won lotto got drunk you know the usual gossip ing oh hi just pulling you leg any way it is great to be here i miss you guys at one stage i couldnt sit at my compt and many iof you know how that is i didnt cry but ok now ive greeted you all take care and ile be back love ya all martymas
  9. martymas

    pics

    i just posted pic and it was sligtly rude by mistake so i had to edit it hope no one saw it if so sorry bout that my first day back and i try to post naughty pics see what old age does martymas
  10. martymas

    back on line

    hi BTGREAT TO HEAR FROM YOUgee ive missing comming here but at one stage ididnt touch my compt for 2 weeks and that is as bad as being sickbill mallenson keeps me psted is he still a memberare all the originals still postingile have a look round as well i have a Qthanks for the reply take care seeya latermartymas
  11. martymas

    back on line

  12. martymas

    back on line

    Hi marty, Good to see you again! I'm happy that you're feeling better.
  13. martymas

    earthqakes

    just saw on the news were several states experienced earthquakes dose any on on the board live in the areas if so take care i havent bin here for some time but when i saw the news it worried me in case some one from the board was in the area please be safe ime off to diabetic meeting but when i come home ile check the board to see if all is safe take care love ya all narty
  14. martymas

    visit

    hi team hows every one ime here on a brief visit to get some desk top lights while here ide like to wish every one a merry xmas and a happy new year as i dont come here very often these days i haven forgotten youal this sight is some of the most happiest times of my life i know many of you and i include youal my friends again greetings martymas
  15. martymas

    visit

    thanks team thing are comming right ile have to keep comming as i lost my way at first so i had to surf to find you gee it feels good to be here i have Q i have this compt and a normal c d and dvd dosent fit as the carriage is narrower than the normal model would a usb work and can these cdroms and dvds be bought to fit as i havent bin into some thing like this i need advice thanks see you all later marty
  16. martymas

    visit

    hi team sorry i havent bin back to read and answer you posts ime haveing this swollen prostrate trouble and theve had to by pass the pee via tubes and bags at first it was sore but ime comming right first xmas i haven had at home for 33 years how have you all bin ge i miss you lot and ile get here when i can many many regards marty
  17. martymas

    OH NO

    CONGRATS BEARSKIN MARTY
  18. martymas

    starting our 7th year

    my goodness has it bin that long like most of you when i started i thought a compt was what they shot to the moon but with the help of all of you i now make my own compts and i repair any with in my region i charge very little just costs as ime retired it is my hobby ime known as the local fixit upper great title for me living in the nether regions it is a pleassure for me to know all you great people tho i dont come as often as i used to you are always in my thoughts have a happy new year all and ile be back marty
  19. martymas

    win os

    hi team a friend sent this article to me ide like you to read ive never heard of it is it a tool or an operating sys [its so long ago since i done this i dont kow how to open the link can any one help sorry bout that marty http://apcmag.com/windows_pe_20_a_tiny_version_of_windows_for_system_maintenance.htm
  20. martymas

    win os

    ok thanks TT i have bartpe disc which ive had for some yrs but ile send that info on take care marty
  21. martymas

    Interview with Matt Hodges (Yep, Matt from BestTechie!)

    my goodness jeff that brings back memorys i used to love tecktv but those days i thought compts were on the moon and nasa he is familair gee it makes me nostaligic thanks jeff marty
  22. martymas

    earthqakes

    hurricanes are very far and few between here in the city i live in tho on the west coast of nz they get em comming from the tasman sea i havent experienced one so i cant give adviuce other than please take care and be safe some times people become complacent when nothing happens for years like we were in the earthquake practically all commercial buildings are deemed unsafe these were built when things were good and safe we have areas of red zone and green zones red zones are the unsafe area which make up 70 percent of the city in the days when earthquakes only happened in japan and california as we thought so no one on earth is imune again take care marty
  23. martymas

    earthqakes

    hi team yes we had our share quakes and snow up to our eyeballs liuckly we are sparly populated but in bigger citys in the usa the danger of injury is a risk gday hitest and novi talki9ng to you guys helps to take away the worrys was there any injurys in the quakes the city i live in quakes were ubusual i saw were it was 16.000 yrs since tha last actively so no one is imune i read california has frequent shakes as long as no one got hurt better be off take care and god bless marty
  24. martymas

    Marty, Marty you okay?

    my theory of earthquakes do you believe earthquakes are caused when the full moon is closesto earththis happened lat to timesthe shakes came as the moon was coming to its fullest \then when it was on the way back the shakes became less and lessuntil the next three months when it came closer to earth againthis has always bin my theorythe quakes were at it highest just before fullit is now on the way down and we havent had a noticeable one for several hrsyesterday and last night they were coming in swarmsdo you agree or do you think ime moon struck,marty
  25. martymas

    Marty, Marty you okay?

    hey keith gee its bin along week weve had what thery cal a swarm of hives some have bin 4-5-6 in strenghth myn city is built on a swamp and that is starting to show through water and silt this time every thinh up in the air crashed to the floor compt tv every thing my family want me to go to a safer area were the hell is that today floods psumani winds floode terriorst wars desease you name it perhaps on the moos it is getting worse last two nights i spent at my social workers place ihad no power no water no phone no woman shit house was buggered is there any thing ive left out WOW THAST WAS A GOODY BETTER GO CHANGE MY PANTS SPOT YA MARTY